The feeling of loneliness can be devastating if you are in an intimate relationship. You have a partner that is supposed to love you and be your biggest cheerleader, yet you feel completely isolated and disconnected. We have seen and felt this in our relationship counseling practice and in our marriage. It doesn’t happen consciously; it doesn’t happen because one person is terrible; it happens because we get stuck in our suffering, and we genuinely don’t know how to be there for the other person.

You have to take the emotional risk of letting your partner know you’re struggling in a vulnerable and honest way. You have the opportunity to repair the hurt and disappointment that feeling lonely has created, and you can let your partner know how they could be more supportive. Using your voice is your only chance of healing the relationship.

Having a voice and feeling empowered to talk about your suffering, needs, and relationship wellness creates the opportunity for you to have a partner with you through all of the good and the bad. I know it’s an emotional risk. But isn’t it worth risking when your other options are divorce, separation, infidelity, or substance abuse? You deserve to feel loved for all you are, and your partner wants to love and feel connected, and most likely, they’re suffering the same way you are. You are in each other’s care; start to cultivate that.