If you are “high frisky,” it is possible that you have a partner who has a lower libido than you do. This can be frustrating and, without healthy communication, causes significant tension in your relationship. When this is the case, the key is to talk about your differences and how you feel. You may find that you are often the initiator of sex and feel rejected much of the time. This is especially hard when you have past abandonment wounds that get triggered. Even if you don’t have past hurts, this is challenging. Let your partner know what comes up for you. It is hard not to take it personally; however, your partner often does not have the same level of friskiness as you do. This can negatively impact your feelings of desirability. Don’t be shy in telling your partner if you feel you are not desired. Your partner might be able to reassure you that you are, in fact, desirable.
Feelings of rejection and lack of desirability can tax your self-worth. It is essential to be able to self-soothe and remind yourself you are worthy. Offer yourself positive self-talk, take pauses, journal about your feelings, and show yourself, love. You and your partner can work together to find creative solutions to connect that don’t necessarily involve sex but that make you feel wanted. Maybe it’s cuddling or hand-holding or taking the time to have deep conversations. Perhaps the two of you start a practice of appreciation where you share all the ways you are grateful for one another. Sex drive will ebb and flow throughout the lifespan. There may be times when you and your partner are more well-matched libido-wise than others. Continue to talk about where you are both at and make sure that you feel fulfilled in other aspects of your relationship. Finding ways to express love and stay connected in many ways creates a solid foundation for your relationship.
